Lots of people have apprehensions before venturing to India. The western media go at length to make a mountain out of a mule - spreading all kinds of myths and rumors. On the other hand local media is utterly useless, doing nothing to address these concerns. So ladies and gentleman hold on to your seats, I am here to answers all your queries, here we go.
Scott: Hi Brown guy, I have heard that someone got his leg amputated just by using a pubic toilet in India, Is it true?
Me: Well Scotty, I would contest that theory on several grounds. First, The public toilets in India are built using the latest camouflage technologies. It's very difficult for the untrained eyes of a white boy to find one. Second if you even found one, the aura surrounding the structure should be enough to warn you of what lies in store. Still if you brave your way inside, well then don't worry; even in the worst case, you will come out with only a haunting memory, a lighter bladder, and a strong urge to bathe.
Jessica: Hey there, is it true all Indian bachelors are virgin?
Me: Hi Jessica, I thank you for bringing up this sensitive issue. It is just one of the examples that the civilization has not yet reached these sides of sea. The work which was so arduously taken up by your forefathers i.e. sharing of the white man's burden and doing there part for the lord is still incomplete. Now the responsibility is on your shoulders. You and your sisters can bring these poor coolies out of their miseries. If you want to do your part, give me a call.
Mathew: What are the chances of me getting kidnapped or blown away in a terrorist attack out there?
Me: If you are not out here to seek interviews or congenial liaison with them, the chances are very slim. In fact you are more likely to get kicked in your nuts, mugged by a black thug, while simultaneously struck by lightning twice. It’s 73cc scooters that you should be more scared off. So don't bother.
Robert: I am stuck in India for a work assignment, it's been 6 months and I haven’t got laid once. Any pointers on how I could?
Me: Dude, if you didn't got laid till now, believes me you are not likely to get any easier. I would suggest some time-tested remedies. Refresh your knowledge base of good quality porn. Buy a good broadband connection and get working.
So pals keep your queries pouring in.
Cheers!
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